The Travelista

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  • I fell in love with my baby. It wasn’t love at first sight. First sight was through plastic. First sight was wires and tubes. First sight was like seeing my beating heart outside of my body, trying to survive on its own. I felt like I had let you down. I could no longer keep you safe or alive on my own. Nature let us down. Instead, it took an army. It took science. It took medicine. It took patience and compassion. I had to get to know you from a distance. It took time. But the days turned in to weeks. The weeks turned in to months. And without even realising it, deep down, beneath all the stress and fear, grew the deepest love I ever knew existed. A love that comes before anything else. A love that makes me know I will never ever let you down. I fell in love with my baby. And it’s ok if you did too #thisismotherhood #NICUawarenessmonth 🌿
  • A big part of having a premature baby that people don’t seem to talk about, is feeling robbed of your pregnancy. Alongside the stresses of NICU, Mums have to grieve the loss of their pregnancy. It often feels surreal to me that I was even pregnant. My bump disappeared overnight after my waters broke, yet I hadn’t given birth and there was no baby in my arms. Psychologically it was a lot to process. After Theo was born, seeing pregnant women filled me with jealousy and sadness. My Instagram ’algorithm’ was showing me nothing but big baby bumps. I couldn’t escape the world of pregnancy, and it was suffocating. This was one of my last bump photos, and it haunts me a bit because I was so blissfully unaware of what was around the corner. We took weekly photos, thinking we’d make an amazing GIF, showing my bump swell from 10 to 40 weeks. In a way these photos still make me incredibly sad, but they also remind me it was real and it did happen, and for that I am grateful. They are worth sharing 💕🌟 P.S “Well at least you didn’t get any stretch marks” is the absolute WORST thing you could ever say to a prem baby Mum. I’d still take a body full of stretch marks to have had my baby at term #TellMeWhy @tommys_thebabycharity
  • We have a sitter! 🌟 Couldn’t get a smile from him but had to post this one ❤️ Theo is now over 15lb and full of energy. He’s growing and learning new things every day. We are so proud! Things have improved on the napping front thanks to sleep consultant @just_chill_mama (putting him down to nap whilst still awake has been an absolute game changer). Weaning has been slow though as he’s got a super sensitive gag reflex (caused from his prematurity) so it means that the food often ends up coming back up. Weaning hasn’t been particularly enjoyable or easy for either of us so far but we had a helpful visit from his speech and language therapist this week to help us make some progress. He’s gaining weight well and hitting milestones so we really can’t ask for more! Our boy will do everything in his own sweet time 💕 #TheodoreWilliam #25Weeker #7monthscorrected
  • Yes, I am the girl that takes photos of other people’s front doors in admiration. If this isn’t front door goals then I don’t know what is. This little cottage is a short walk from my house. I admire it all year round because it always has a wreath to match all seasons. It’s also inspired me to paint our own front door a nice new colour, which is currently an odd shade of electric blue. I’m thinking of a pastel shade, maybe powder blue or duck egg blue. What colour should I go for? Please inspire me! I’ll report back on the cottage when the autumnal wreath is up 🍂🍁👀 #ihavethisthingwithdoors
  • September is Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Awareness month 💫Before having Theo prematurely, I was completely unaware of the NICU. I only knew of friends and family who had healthy babies. “Mum and baby doing well” was a phrase I just expected to hear. Looking back I was so ignorant. I never gave a seconds thought to the babies who weren’t “doing so well”. Maybe you haven’t either. The NICU cares for poorly term babies, but they are also the next best thing to a womb for premature babies. The walls of the NICU see every spectrum of emotion on a daily basis. From the heart shattering reality of Neonatal and newborn loss, to the indescribable elation of the parents who finally get to walk through the double doors with their babies in tow. They are the lucky ones. In between those emotions are anxiety, fear, trauma, exhaustion, overwhelm and sadness. An inconsolable sadness of parents who dreamt of a very different outcome whilst preparing for the arrival their baby; parents who never thought they’d be reading their baby a bedtime story through the portholes of a perspex box; parents who never realised how strong they could truly be until they had no choice. The NICU never sleeps. It is full of hard working doctors and nurses, saving babies lives 24 hours a day. The NICU is all consuming, sucking parents in to the point where the outside world may as well be frozen in time. But the walls of the NICU also see so much light and love. They see the warmth of Neonatal nurses as they care for the babies as if they were their own. They see parents celebrate when their baby has even the smallest of achievements. They see the deepest strength and love required for a family to make it through a NICU admission. Theo spent a total of 109 days, 17 weeks and 4 months across 4 different Neonatal units. I spent every single one of those days by his side. I am still processing the highs and lows of our time in the NICU, and right now stepping foot back inside one would be my worst nightmare. But I know that inside the walls of the NICU, extraordinary things happen. Inside the walls of the NICU there is always hope. I will always be grateful 💕 ✨ #nicuawarenessmonth
  • Hey guys! I got quite a few new followers on Friday thanks to some lovely Friday Follow mentions so I just wanted to say a big thank you to both my new followers and my old ones ☺️. This is me and my little family (my partner Scott and our baby Theo). I thought I’d share some known (and not so known) facts about me so you can get to know me better . 🌍 1. I grew up in York, went to Uni in Newcastle, lived in London for 4 years and now I live in Leeds with Scott and Theo. 🌍 2. It was my dream to be a travel writer so I created my blog as a way to self publish a portfolio. I started my blog in 2013 and I’ve been a full time blogger since 2016. I like to think I created the digital version of my dream job 😊[ ] 🌍 3. My Dad is Dutch so I’m planning to apply for a Dutch passport after Brexit. Theo can get one too! 🌍 4. Theo was born 15 weeks early at 25+6 days gestation due to #PPROM. We spent 17 weeks in NICU before we could bring him home but now he’s a healthy happy boy. 🌍 5. My favourite food is Lebanese. I live for hummus, fattoush and shish taouk. If only I had a good Lebanese takeaway nearby. 🌍 6. My 3 favourite travel destinations in the world are Vietnam, Italy and NYC. . Tell me a little random fact about you? 💕🌍

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