The Travelista

  • Home
  • About
    • Collaborations
    • Press
    • FAQ
    • Contact
  • Travel
    • Destinations by World Map
    • Hotels
    • Airlines
    • Restaurants
    • Itineraries
  • Life
    • Yorkshire
    • Style
  • Motherhood
  • Inspire Me
    • Adventure
    • Beach
    • City
    • Culture
    • Mountain
    • Tropical
  • Shop
    • E-mail
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

On being asked; ‘Are you going to have another?’

11/04/21 ᛫ 4 Comments

“Are you going to have another?”, asked a well-meaning family member, out of the blue. Another cup of coffee? Another what? It could have been anything, but I knew exactly what they meant. Another baby. The question that fills me with dread.

It seems like when your first child enters toddlerhood, there is a societal expectation, or assumption, that all mothers are yearning for the next one. For me, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why assume there will be a next one? For many, one is enough.

After extreme prematurity, neonatal surgeries, a 3.5 month NICU stay, post natal anxiety, PTSD and a global pandemic, motherhood has well and truly consumed me, challenged me and changed me.

I feel like there is so much we still have to experience with Theo. He is a healthy and happy little boy ready to see the world. But it’s not just about Theo.

I am working hard on my own personal development and having further therapy for my trauma. I am healing and reconnecting with parts of old myself. I want to write a book! I am unapologetically making myself a priority again.

Having another baby is not a priority right now, and perhaps it never will be. All I know is that this little boy and his Daddy complete me and they are all I need.

Now that restrictions are slowly lifting, we are ready to start living our best life and making memories that go beyond the local playground, as a family of 3.

Female adult life isn’t all about having babies. There is so much more available to us now.

Please always be careful when asking people about their family plans. You don’t always know what they’ve been through, or are going through.

Have you ever been asked a similar question and how did you deal with it? I’d love to know.

Read the comments and join the conversation on Instagram

 

 
 
 
 
 
View this post on Instagram
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

A post shared by Jess Gibson (@thetravelista)

4 Comments

Related Posts

  • premature birth storyMy Premature Birth Story
  • Woolacombe BeachA Toddler-Friendly Holiday in North Devon
  • baby foot in hand | huggies tiniest footprint | hands and feetWhy I’m Supporting the Huggies ‘Tiniest Footprint’ Mission
« The Best Places to Stay in Florence
Dreaming of that first holiday abroad after travel restrictions are lifted »

Comments

  1. Claire Ricaud says

    2nd March 2022 at 7:00 pm

    I’m childless – not childfree – in other words I’m not a mother and it’s not because this is the life I wanted or chose, it’s the hand fate has dealt me. Over the 10 years that I spent trying to have a family I actually became quite reclusive (not uncommon, apparently) and even now I still find it harder to meet new people and make new friends due to the “dreaded” question that always tends to come up sooner rather than later, “Do you have any kids?” Not that I mind the question, it’s a natural part of getting to know somebody I guess, but if the response is no then the asker really ought to leave it there and move on, which more often than not they don’t. As you rightly said, you don’t always know what people have been through or are going through; if I’m open and honest about my failed fertility treatments, miscarriages and stillbirth most people feel akward and embarrassed and clearly wish they’d never asked, if I tell people to mind their own business (to spare them the discomfort of the truth and myself from feeling obliged to share the most heartbreaking and soul destroying chapter of my life with a complete stranger) then I look like the asshole and if I diplomatically try to change the subject most people who are thick skinned enough to ask me why I don’t have children or if I plan to in the future often don’t get the message so I may as well have told them to mind their own business in the first place. You would hope that it would be blatantly obvious to most adults that if we as a married couple don’t have children we either don’t want them or we can’t have them; either way why do people feel a need to ask and more importantly what makes them think that they have a right to? Married or not, straight or gay, what a woman does with her uterus is nobody’s business but her own!

    Reply
    • Jess Gibson says

      20th April 2022 at 12:16 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story Claire. I couldn’t agree with you more. Sorry for all the pain you have experienced. Sending love x

      Reply
  2. Karen Hutzcal says

    12th May 2021 at 2:18 am

    Only you know when and if you’re ready for another baby. The 3 of you have been through so much so it’s great that you’re enjoying family time as Theo is exploring the world. There’s so much more as the world will once more open up. Enjoy this time! ❤❤❤

    Reply
    • Jess Gibson says

      5th January 2022 at 3:59 pm

      Thank you for your kind words Karen, they’re much appreciated.

      Reply

Spark a conversation! Cancel reply

Jess is an an award-winning UK travel blogger based in North Yorkshire, providing you with inspiration for both local and global adventures.

Read More

Looking for something in particular?

Subscribe

Never Miss a Post!

Latest Posts

Review: A Restorative Spa Break at Grantley Hall, North Yorkshire

Mediterranean Cruise Itinerary: Visiting 6 ports in 7 days

Family-friendly glamping in the Lake District with Feather Down Farms

Follow on Instagram

I have my friend @naomipsychotherapy to thank for I have my friend @naomipsychotherapy to thank for introducing me to wild swimming. She lives here in the Lakes and is an all-seasons pro. At first I was intrigued by her new hobby but equally I thought she was totally mad.

With 8 wild swims under my belt now I’ve definitely grown in confidence and really crave the rush of endorphins it brings. It’s such a visceral experience that pushes your body and then rewards it. There are also so many mental health benefits to wild swimming too. 

Here are Naomi’s 6 top tips if you are a beginner and want to give wild swimming a try:

1. Make sure you have a safe entry and exit point
2. Be mindful of any currents or tides. Lakes are safest as they have neither. 
3. Never swim alone. Always go with someone else.
4. Wear swim booties to protect your feet from rough ground. 
5. Remember mindfulness - try to be present in the moment, noticing what you can hear, smell, see, feel. You can’t get closer to nature than this. 
6. Make sure you have a towel and warm, dry clothing to put on immediately after swimming. 

Would you ever try wild / cold water swimming? Or are you already converted? 💬 

#wildswimming #wonderfulwildwomen #coldwaterswimming #lakeswim #lakeswimming #wearetravelgirls
I would have been getting married next month. Inst I would have been getting married next month. Instead, next month I’m re-launching my business after winning a small business grant, I’m travelling the world again and growing in confidence as a single parent. 

I thought my life was falling apart but now I realise it was falling into place, just as it should be. 💫
NYC on my mind 💫 So grateful to reach 20k on In NYC on my mind 💫 So grateful to reach 20k on Insta today. It’s not easy to grow organically on this app but I have always believed in quality over quantity and you lot are the best, most engaged and supportive community I could ever wish for. If you’re new around here, you’re very welcome, and thanks for taking an interest in my rollercoaster of a life. ♥️
If you’re planning a trip to the big apple you a If you’re planning a trip to the big apple you absolutely have to try this New York institution! Only $4 a slice 🍕 Save this reel as a reminder. 🇺🇸 

Where else can you find amazing pizza in NYC? Add your faves in the comments. 

📍 Joe’s Pizza, 7 Carmine Street, West Village NYC 

#newyorkeats #newyorkpizza #newyorkpizzaslice #joespizza #joespizzanyc #newyorkfood #newyorkfoodie
Home! 🥰 But the grid shall remain in NYC for th Home! 🥰 But the grid shall remain in NYC for the next few days to ensure all outfits have been sufficiently documented. This was one of my faves. 

(Jeans are Bershka via @asos but currently sold out. Most of my stuff is old season so I’d make a terrible fashion blogger)
Let me give you a tour of the penthouse suite at t Let me give you a tour of the penthouse suite at the @editionnewyork - where we just stayed for 5 nights.

The penthouse currently sells at an eye watering $10,084 a night, which we absolutely did not pay. 

For full disclosure, this was not a PR / press stay. My friend booked a loft suite and the penthouse upgrade was a surprise as the lovely reception staff noticed it was her birthday during our stay. We did not mention our social media accounts or my blog so this stroke of luck was 100% organic! 

Before booking the Edition NYC we saw online that the hotel regularly upgrades its guests whenever possible. We were hopeful but never ever expected they’d upgrade us to the penthouse! 

Insider tip: the generous upgrades are definitely a reason to stay at The Edition when you’re next in NYC.

What’s your favourite part of the Penthouse? 🗽 

📍 5 Madison Avenue, Manhattan, NYC

#newyorkcity #newyorkrealestate #nycexplorers #penthousesuite #editionnewyork #luxurytraveller

Subscribe

Never miss a post! Subscribe for Travelista updates and newsletters

The Travelista on YouTube

  • 3847likes
  • 19680followers
  • 9807followers
  • 2060subscribers

Copyright © 2023 · Design by Gatto

Copyright © 2023 · The Travelista on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

  • Privacy Policy
  • FAQ
  • Contact