Those of you who follow me on social media may have noticed I’ve been unusually quiet for the past few weeks. I am glad to finally share the reason why.
On 30th October 2018 at 7.18am, I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy. His name is Theodore William Hamilton, and we’re calling him Theo for short. I thought that today was a good day to share this, as today is his ‘1 month’ birthday. If you were reading my pregnancy diary posts you will know that Theo has come incredibly early.
He is the tiniest, most perfect thing I have ever seen. His early arrival came as a complete shock. Since my waters broke unexpectedly and prematurely (a condition medically referred to as PPROM), our world has been turned upside down and we’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions ever since. It has been exhausting and all-consuming, hence the silence on social media and the lack of blog posts.
Our beautiful boy is very premature and has a long road ahead of him. We won’t be able to bring him home until he reaches full term in February, but we can spend as much time with him in the Neonatal unit as we like. He has been through so much his first month of life (including 2 major operations), but he has already shown us how much determination, character and fight he has to be in the world. We have been living with Theo at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital ever since his birth, and we’re hoping he will soon be transferred to the equivalent Neonatal unit in Leeds now that he has made some positive progress.
Getting to know my tiny baby through a plastic incubator has been the hardest and most heartbreaking thing I have ever gone through. I wasn’t able to hold him in my arms until 2 weeks after he was born. It goes against every convention of motherhood and every maternal instinct you can think of. My pregnancy was taken away from me so suddenly, and I’ve become a mother 3 months earlier than I had prepared for. Psychologically, there is a lot of surrounding factors to also deal with. But I am slowly coming to terms with everything that has happened, putting myself back together piece by piece and finding the positives in every day.
The support of family and friends has helped Scott and I to stay strong and reminded us how lucky we are to have this unconditional support network. The consultants, doctors and nurses caring for Theo are also incredible people and I have a new found respect for healthcare professionals and the NHS. Where would we be without it?
So forgive me if content is a little thin on the ground in the next few months, but being with Theo is my number one priority right now. I am going to take some time away to focus on Theo, and will share updates and news whenever I feel ready.
We can’t wait for the day we can finally bring him home.
If you have any advice or words of wisdom for getting through an incredibly tough time, I’d love to hear them.