Those of you who follow me on social media may have noticed I’ve been unusually quiet for the past few weeks. I am glad to finally share the reason why.
On 30th October 2018 at 7.18am, I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy. His name is Theodore William Hamilton, and we’re calling him Theo for short. I thought that today was a good day to share this, as today is his ‘1 month’ birthday. If you were reading my pregnancy diary posts you will know that Theo has come incredibly early.
He is the tiniest, most perfect thing I have ever seen. His early arrival came as a complete shock. Since my waters broke unexpectedly and prematurely (a condition medically referred to as PPROM), our world has been turned upside down and we’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions ever since. It has been exhausting and all-consuming, hence the silence on social media and the lack of blog posts.
Our beautiful boy is very premature and has a long road ahead of him. We won’t be able to bring him home until he reaches full term in February, but we can spend as much time with him in the Neonatal unit as we like. He has been through so much his first month of life (including 2 major operations), but he has already shown us how much determination, character and fight he has to be in the world. We have been living with Theo at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital ever since his birth, and we’re hoping he will soon be transferred to the equivalent Neonatal unit in Leeds now that he has made some positive progress.
Getting to know my tiny baby through a plastic incubator has been the hardest and most heartbreaking thing I have ever gone through. I wasn’t able to hold him in my arms until 2 weeks after he was born. It goes against every convention of motherhood and every maternal instinct you can think of. My pregnancy was taken away from me so suddenly, and I’ve become a mother 3 months earlier than I had prepared for. Psychologically, there is a lot of surrounding factors to also deal with. But I am slowly coming to terms with everything that has happened, putting myself back together piece by piece and finding the positives in every day.
The support of family and friends has helped Scott and I to stay strong and reminded us how lucky we are to have this unconditional support network. The consultants, doctors and nurses caring for Theo are also incredible people and I have a new found respect for healthcare professionals and the NHS. Where would we be without it?
So forgive me if content is a little thin on the ground in the next few months, but being with Theo is my number one priority right now. I am going to take some time away to focus on Theo, and will share updates and news whenever I feel ready.
We can’t wait for the day we can finally bring him home.
Jess x
If you have any advice or words of wisdom for getting through an incredibly tough time, I’d love to hear them.
Your vulnerability is inspiring. Continue to show up for Mr Theo, he knows you’re there. Sending you all my positive thoughts and prayers, you can do this! – A fellow NICU nurse.
My thoughts are very much with you Jess. Thank you for updating us and stay strong.
Oh Hun, sending so much love for you and your family. This was heartbreaking to read, you are so strong and he will be just like his mamma. Hold on in there hun. His little hand is gorgeous! x
Congratulations lovely – I had noticed you were absent online and now I understand why, enjoy getting to know your bundle of joy xxx
I’m in much shock on Theo’s early arrival! Congratulations on being new parents! Please be patient as he’s receving the best of care. I was a 5 or 6 week preemie way back in 1956. So many advances in their care. I can imagine how hard it is not to be able to hold him. You will one day and it will be so worth it. My prayers for all of you as you continue this journey. ❤❤❤
Such a beautiful name, my son Theo William was born at 28 weeks as well. This must such a difficult time for you and your family but hoping you have all the support from them and the amazing NHS, they truly are amazing.
Sending you all the love and strength.
Francine xx
Oh wow, congratulations! I was worried when I read your last Instagram post, so I’m glad you’re all OK. I’ve enjoyed reading your pregnancy updates (as one of my favourite bloggers!) as I’m also pregnant. Stay strong and know that you have a whole load of readers thinking about you x
Oh my gosh Jess! I’m so pleased to hear he’s fighting through and sending positive thoughts through to when he can come home. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, all I can say is to not worry about anything other than getting through as a family, and make sure you’re taking time to keep yours and Scott’s relationship strong by talking to each other and even though you each might deal with this differently, process what you’re going through together and speak to people to make sure you’re not bottling it all up to be strong for others, as it will come out some time in some way if your emotions aren’t processed.
Sending big hugs to you
Amy xxx
You’re incredicle Jessica and doing so well. Stay strong and positive! We’re all so proud of you, Scott and of course Theo. He’s a little fighter and I can’t wait to meet him. Sending love and positive vibes always xxx
Congratulations on Theo’s arrival, so glad to hear he is doing well as your silence worried me. He will have the best care and savour the time you get with him each day. My cousin had a baby at the same point if you want someone to talk to? Look after yourself too Mummy, savour the littleness and the hands and toes as even though he is small now he will grow so quickly. Xx
Many congratulations to you ! I am very glad that your sweet little boy is doing well now by fighting hard. Sending you all the love and hugs from India !! Stay strong ! Can’t wait to see your post soon with Theo and you spending wonderful time at home !
So many congratulations! What a strong boy you have and you are already an incredible mum, sounds like he couldn’t wait to meet you. Take every day as it comes and live in the moment. These babies are born fighters xxx
Oh Jess what a little fighter you have on your hands! You must be such a proud Mummy and Daddy! Congratulations to you all xxx
Oh my goodness gorgeous girl – CONGRATS!! Sending you all so, so much love and well wishes, can’t imagine how tough this has been on you all but I’m so glad to hear that he’s doing so well! Can’t wait for the day that he’s home with you all!
Sending you lots of love and I’ll be thinking of you all <3
Hayley xxx